Cookies World of Lol

From Kath

Subject: Passport Application Dear Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am at a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through. How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government? How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money...

From  http://forum.bodybuilding.com  sent to me by Bruce Don't even ****ing say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.   I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the ****.   The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont ****ing tell you...   Except in tiny print you cant read without a ****ing electron microscope   ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."   Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.   So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alon...

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BANNED FOR LIFE FROM DISNEYLAND this has got to be one of the funniest things going around the Computer.......wonder where they got the NERVE? MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BANNED FOR LIFE FROM DISNEYLAND YEP - Those Are their real boobs!

See also the comments of flight attendants and crew listed below.    Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery!             WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.     Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: --------------------------------------------------------------------                   On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where                   you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a                   flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out                   furniture here, find a seat and ...

1) Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing the following transmission. Many Sydney folks "did" hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. 2) Apparently, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match" whereby the DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. 3) The person being interviewd is first asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner subsequently answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. 4) One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:- DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-F...