Skip to main content


Showing posts from September, 2009

Spotted in Didsbury...

From Alison


Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the=2 0system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate. DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run

Software warning! (funny!)

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Mountain Biking 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware program, Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources it does come bundled with


Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.  Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyse the situation. If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department. If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning. If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations. If they are sleeping. Put them in security. If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology. If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources. If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales. If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing. If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning. And then last


There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to molest us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arr

facts and horrors

From: Alison

Taliban Singles Online

From: Lulu

Drinking is like Yoga

Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does !!! Savasana Position of total relaxation. Balasana Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm. Setu Bandha Sarvangasana Calms the brain and heals tired legs. Marjayasana Position stimulates the midirift area and the spinal comumn. Halasana Excelent for back pain and imsomnia. Dolphin Excelent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms. Salambhasana Great excersice to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms. Ananda Balasana This position is great for masaging the hip area. Malasana This position, for ankles and back muscles. Pigeon Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of 'stress'. So, lets start drinking.............